There are two things that I always considered to be absolute truths when it came to having babies:
1) My mom had super incredibly fast labors, so since I am her daughter, the same thing will happen to me. (I had mixed feelings about this truth… thank-goodness-I-won’t-be-in-pain-for-long-but-I-hope-we-make-it-to-the-hospital kind of feeings).
2) Newborns do nothing but eat and sleep. And poop. But mostly sleep.
Neither of these are true.
I spent several weeks preparing my very squeamish husband for the possibility of delivering a baby in the car. I encouraged him by saying that in the moment, he wouldn’t even notice blood; he’d worry about that later. I explained to him that tying off the umbilical cord would be important… hopefully, one of us would be wearing tennis shoes, so that we would have a shoelace to use. I made sure that our bags were packed and stayed in the car at all times, the gas tank was always at least half full, and with every Braxton Hicks contraction that hit (and there were a LOT), I would glance at my watch to check the time… because the SECOND I hit six contractions in an hour, we were going to be ON THE ROAD. (I had 5 in one hour on at least seven different occasions in the last two weeks of my pregnancy).
Instead, I was blessed with an almost 42-week pregnancy that ended in an induction, a 22-hour labor, and 1 hour and 57 minutes of pushing.
As far as the activities of newborns go… no. It’s all wrong. MY newborn likes to play, and talk, and watch ceiling fans spin, and cry and cry and cry… not because his diaper is full, or because he’s hungry, or because his belly hurts (although this IS often the case, poor guy)… but because he is bored. Even while you are holding him sometimes, he cries… until you talk to him, or sing to him, or squish his face around to make him look like Yoda. He feels a need to be entertained. At 4 weeks old. I did not bargain for this.
The good news is, Judah Cary is a very bright-eyed little dude who eats like a champ. The bad news is, he inherited his father’s horrible chronic nasal congestion. More good news is that he has a head full of beautiful, soft hair. More bad news is that he’s a fabulous “before” picture for Baby Proactive right now.
Some Judah-facts: On one particularly emotional night, he quit crying when his dad played the Alabama Football 2014 Hype Video for him. His burps are super manly and impressive. He HATES blankets, socks, or being constricted in any way. Being buckled into his car seat is equivalent to being shot in the eye with a rubber band gun. He neither loves nor hates bath time; it seems to simply bewilder him. He and Ramona are already besties.
So, that’s our Judah. Here’s hoping he grows up with his Dad’s kindheartedness and my taste in movies. Jonathan intends for him to be the next AJ McCarron, and I intend for him to be the next Bobby Flay. Here’s hoping for a softhearted, Princess Bride-loving, football-throwing, spatula-wielding man.