The wait in the dentist office waiting room might be the worst part of the whole experience. You get to sit there for quite a while, wondering what they’re going to do this time… will she try to tear my mouth open with that little hook of hers again? Will I have a cavity? Will they decide to just pull all my teeth? My mind goes to a dream I had a few years ago, where all of my teeth just fell out of my mouth, into my hands.
The dentist’s office is supposed to be friendly, I think. From the Highlights for Kids magazines in a box on the wall, to the giant wooden toothbrush hanging near the door… and I think, I wonder if Paul Bunyun’s toothbrush looked like that.
But then, you get called back into the torture chamber office, and get told to sit in an old green chair that tips back… back… back until your head is below your knees (which, by the way, is really not good when you are dealing with some major sinus issues). Then, there is plenty of time to look around while she grinds and hacks and digs away at your mouth.
Ugly green wallpaper, oddly shaped fluorescent lights, the “RITTER” logo on the lamp shining into your face. There’s plenty of time for your mind to wander.
Why do doctors’ offices always have weird wallpaper?
Maybe they’d let me re-decorate.
I really need to dust my bookshelves at home.
Is it hard to clean someone’s teeth if they have a lip ring?
Why would anyone ever want to be a dental hygienist?
Being a zookeeper could be kind of fun.
I wonder what we’re having for supper tonight.
What if I just leaped off of this chair, ripped this stupid little bib off, and ran out the door? Would they chase me?
What is it like to go insane?
Maybe mouthwash could take the place of flossing.
Maybe I could go to sleep, and she wouldn’t notice.
What can I do to distract myself?
Singing! I usually sing to distract myself.
That’s a bad idea. There are hands in my mouth.
What would she do if I started singing?
Maybe I should try it!
Did I fix my bed this morning?
And on it goes.